Okay, the Rams suck worse than the Redskins...

The second ever "The Senor Gong Punter Punted For More Yards Than My Offense Gained Redskins Honorary Suck Award" is awarded to the St. Louis Rams this week. They managed to gain a mesely 235 total yards while punting for a whopping 455 yards!!! Another way of thinking about this is that the entire offense is paid roughly 70 million dollars a year just to be this shitty. That's about 4.4 million per game. That's $18723.40 per yard! I mean god DAMN!! Their punter, Donnie James, on the other hand, makes 1.6 million a year. Divide that out and that's 100K per game, or $222.2 a yard. I'm no economist(okay I obviously am), but it seems to me the offense ought to be getting a few more yards at that cost. If I was the front office, I'd be fucking pissed! (Picture front office dude in the locker room)

Head boss guy: "What the fuck am I paying you people for?!?...Donnie over there(Donnie eating caviar reading the wall street journal) I'm only paying him $222.20 a yard and his fucking worthless ass moved the ball twice as far as you pansies....
Donnie: "Um, excuse me, but I take offense to your foul language and rude comments"
Head Boss Guy: "Shut the fuck up Donnie, I'm making a fucking point"
Donnie: "Well you can make it with a new punter"
Head Boss Guy: "Donnie, I'm sick and fucking tired of this tough punter bit, you're a fucking punter with two first names god damnit"
Whole offensive line in unison: "YEAH" (laughter)
Head Boss Guy: "Fuck you o-line, I just paid you 18 grand a yard and 1.15 million per point you sorry sacks of shit. That's got to be the worst investment I ever fucking made. I'm fucking cutting the lot of you and am going to import an entire team from Canada and pay them nothing. I bet they could put up three mother fucking points! Oh yeah, and I'm keeping Donnie!!"
Donnie: "Yes!!"
O-line proceeds to beat the shit out of Donnie.

Happens every time...I mean, I'm sure you can picture it. An all too likely scenario behind the scenes of the proud winners of the "Senor Gong Punter Punted For More Yards Than My Offense Gained Redskins Honorary Suck Award"

Oh yeah, you might laugh to know that the subject of the last "Gong beat down" the Washington Redskins, proudly own the largest salary cap in football. Talk about shitty!

Gong out

I'd hate to be a redskin's fan

Senor Goooooonnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg!

You hear me Oblivious?! That's right, I said it! I'd hate to be a redskin's fan. I mean, there is nothing worse than rooting for an NFL team that can't put up more than 7 points. Ouch. I know that feeling well. I went to ND from 98-02 and holy shit was our offense bad. Every game I knew we were going to lose if the opposition scored more than 14 points. There was just no way. No way for a comeback. No way for anything. And I don't have to follow the Redskins super closely to know that offense in anemic. I had that bitch Portis on my fantasy team last year and despite his always increasing neck size, that fool cannot get into the endzone. Its just the worst. You sit on the edge of you seat, hoping, praying for some movement. All you get is, 3 and out, PUNT. Ooh, 12 yard run. Nice. Three and out..PUNT. You're punter punted 7 balls at an average of 37.9 yards per punt. That means he punted for a total of 265.30 yards...yes I can add, I know, amazing. Your offense gained a total of 209 yards. I think there should be an award when the punter punts for more yards than the offense gains. We'll call it:

"The Senor Gong Punter Punted For More Yards Than My Offense Gained Redskins Honorary Suck Award"

Or to steal my good friend Rhymes with Orange's joke, The "SGPPFMYTMOGRHS" Award. Sorry oblivious. You know I love you...but OUCH.

Gong out

THANK CHRIST: The NFL Returns

Live blog tonight for Foreskins/Gnats. Not that I really care, but a real game, with real injuries and real consequences?

Pretty sure I just got a boner.

Yep. Bonertime.